That's Karma, Daph
by chronicxxinsanity
Summary: Daphne, a snotty American teenager, doesn't think that the world is going to end. But on December 21, 2012, she finds herself in her sister's favorite show, Naruto. There are several problems, and not having her cell phone doesn't even scratch the surface. She doesn't speak any Japanese! Karma's a pain in the butt, but at least her annoying sister tagged along. Realistic Insert
1. December 20, 2012

**That's Karma, Daph.**

_Daphne, a snotty American teenager, doesn't think that the world is going to end. But on December 21, 2012, she finds herself in her sister's favorite anime, Naruto. There are several problems, and not having her cell phone doesn't even scratch the surface. She doesn't speak any Japanese! Karma's a pain in the butt, but at least her annoying sister tagged along._

**Author's Note: **Hello, and welcome to what happens when I become more and more frustrated with the lack of realistic self-inserts, and the hundreds of problems that go along with them. I can't really claim that this will be completely realistic and wonderful, but that's what I'm aiming for. So, to help me out, go ahead and point out anything and everything that is wrong, off, or just doesn't fit in; I'm always looking for ways to improve my writing. As a slight warning, there will be **no** romantic pairings. At all. So don't ask about it, because you probably won't get an answer. This is rated T because I'm going to be writing the dialogue and narration as I would say it, meaning that, at times, it may appear that a dirty-mouthed sailor has taken over my laptop. Fear not.

I also don't mean to insult anyone with my views on December 21th, 2012, but I want to reiterate that these are _my_ views, and that I'm not trying to convince anyone that I am right.

Enjoy the story.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or any of the characters. I do own the three Original Characters you will come across, though, and the scenarios I'm throwing them into.

_01 – December 20, 2012_

I'm not superstitious or religious.

Well, in clearer terms, I'm not an idiot. December 21th is just another Thursday, five days before Christmas and a week after my sister's birthday. That's it. But for some reason, my mother seems to think otherwise. She thinks that tomorrow we're going to die.

Why? Certainly not because some scientist or anyone who knows their ass from their hand predicted it. I don't really know what makes her think that today is the last possible day that we can be together as a family, and I don't really feel like asking and getting a lecture about how some guys, thousands of years ago ran out of space to write their calendar and how that somehow predicts our mysterious death. Like I said, I'm not an idiot. I know when to leave a can of worms unopened.

I also can't believe that on "our last day on Earth" we're being kept prisoner in the house.

"Honey, I would appreciate it if you would stop that. I know-"

"And _I_ would appreciate it if I could _leave_!" I turned to the side and kicked my legs out so they could hang over the side of the couch and my glare turned to the wall instead, with my back pointedly to my mom. Despite my remark, I stopped tapping my fingers against the phone in my pocket and focused my irritation on the wall in front of me. I've always hated that olive green color, anyway. It looked a little too much like puke.

Mom let out a long, slow sigh and closed her eyes. She ran her fingers through her short, black hair and turned her head away, all signs that I was pulling at her final nerves. If I could just push her a little more (but not too much) she would snap and let me go, just so that she could think without seeing a tunnel of red.

Ol' predictable finished fuming quietly and turned to my sister, who was kneeling by the coffee table and hunched over a few books. The jacket that she always wore was thrown over the corner of the table and her sleeves were rolled up, and mom still wouldn't turn down the thermostat.

"How's it coming along, Pen?" she asked in a voice that was so forced it sounded shaky. Penelope let mom stroke her hair, even though we both hate it when she does that. She smoothed out her dark hair when mom was done messing it up, but smiled that awkward smile that showed too much teeth.

"Good."

"Tell me again," mom slowly drew in breath the moment I opened my mouth, "why our homework needs to be done? My math teacher is _most definitely_ not going to show up in heaven, so I won't be turning in my homework on Monday." I let the math book that had been sitting in my lap slide to the ground in a heap of dog-eared pages. My mom gave me a sharp look. "Because he's a Buddhist! Or whatever religion it is that believes he'll come back as a fucking butterfly," I added under my breath.

"Who said _you're_ going to heaven, anyway?" Penelope asked with a snarky smile, lifting her head from her books long enough to see my head snap in her direction before she shrank back down to appear as innocent as possible. I knew that trick and it was not going to work this time.

"What was that you little _snot_?"

"Daphne, quiet." Of course, I should have predicted this as well. No matter how many times it happens, it never gets any less infuriating. My mouth opened before I knew it to counter my mother, who would forever come to the aid of my annoying little sister.

"'Quiet'? I was asking a question and she insults me, and _I'm_ the one who needs to be quiet?" Okay, my volume may have been a bit of an issue, but that thought disappeared when mom gave me that look. The 'you know you're not right, so be quiet' look where her normally soft blue eyes became so condescending it was infuriating. Her frown deepened, and the face that was once thin, fragile, and delicate looked on the edge of emaciated and miserable.

"You know-"

"No. You know what? I don't know. Please, enlighten me." I let myself fall back on the couch so that I was laying across the sofa and could tilt my head up to look at her. "She insults me, and that's all fine, but the second I insult her with a stupid _name_ I'm scolded like a five-year-old?" Mom opened her mouth. "Actually, I _might_ know. It has something to do with her being a fucking suck-up, doesn't it? She can insult me as much as she likes as long as she's multitasking with her homework or playing the piano while she's at it. Isn't that right? She can say whatever she wants as long as she's practicing D Minor? What a _great_ message you're sending her."

This time, it was Penelope who spoke. I didn't understand it, of course, I didn't speak any Japanese. But I knew that look on her face. It was the 'haha, I'm getting away with this and there's nothing you can do to stop me' look.

"What the fuck did you say, pipsqu-?"

"_Daphne_-"

I was close. The nostril was flaring and her eyes were narrowing, giving her sharp features a hawk-like appearance, but she wasn't to the point where she would give up and let me go.

"Don't "_Daphne_" me! If she wants to insult me behind your back that's fine but she needs to man up and say it to my face."

"Daphne, stop. Penelope, don't insult your sister-"

"I wasn't!" Penelope's long hair flew around her shoulders as she turned to my mom, looking about as outraged as I was. I felt a fraction of a bit better.

"Be quiet. Everyone. Both of you. Shut up." That was about as close to swearing as mom would get. She stood up so sharply that the recliner rocked back dangerously close to the wall and I had to pull myself up to see over the back of the couch as she stormed through the arching doorway that lead to the kitchen.

I swung my feet awkwardly, kicking the wall and turning to glance at Pen who was back to doing her homework.

"Do you think she's really mad?" She finally asked, her eyes never leaving her book as she flipped a page.

I felt the buzz of my cell phone in my pocket and my left hand drew it out automatically and flipped it open.

"I don't know," I muttered noncommittally, clicking a few buttons that would bring up the message sent by my friend. "No way!" I flew up into a sitting position and stared at the screen in my hands.

Pen looked alarmed. "What?"

"Beth was just dumped. By that asshole Jacob!" I screeched, my thumbs already flying across the screen, promising to come over as soon as possible to comfort her through her hard times. If she had just listened to absolutely everyone who had told her not to trust Jacob, she wouldn't be in the hysterical mess that the text said she was in, but no. Beth needed to 'follow her heart' and tail the football player like a lovesick puppy. It didn't really matter, though. Beth was in hysterics, and where was I? Not by her side, obviously, but I would be soon.

"Oh." Penelope turned her attention back to her books, looking as nerdy as ever when she slid her glasses up her nose.

Mom walked back into the living room and set a glass of water on the coffee table. The recliner squeaked when she sat down, but I refused to look at her and stared at the screen on my phone long after the message had been sent.

"Please put that away." My mother's voice was immediately ignored when the sound of a chirping bird signaled a reply from Beth. I opened the message and sent a quick reply, staring at the screen again once it was sent. "Daphne, did you hear me?"

Another chirp, and I was sending another message.

"Daphne. Phone. Off. Now."

"Beth was just dumped," I countered, opening up a note pad app so that I could continue to type and look as if I was texting. It was another way to push mom's buttons, and if the deep breath she had just taken was any indicator, it was working like a charm.

'**This is boring as shit.**' I typed. '**Why couldn't they have predicted we would die today? Then we could just get it over with. Hell, here we come.**'

"Daphne, give me the phone." My mother's hand reached out and I could see it in my peripheral vision. I lowered the phone so that it was hovering over my stomach and well out of her reach. I sat my phone down for a moment, only long enough to adjust the tank top I was wearing to get some air flow through my clothes to avoid sweating, and picked it right back up.

The sound of a chirping bird came again, and I smiled at Beth's reply; _Can you sneak around the warden?_ The warden was a pretty common name for my mother, whose hand reached out a little further and shook, motioning for me to hand it over.

"I thought you always taught me to value friendship." I kept my tone light, only because I knew it would irritate her even more. "Part of friendship is consoling a friend when they're in pain, right?"

'**It's damn warm enough to be hell in here. My own living room is hell…why is that not so hard to believe? The she-devil is sitting next to me-'** Mom's hand reached a little further made a quick grab for the phone. '**-reaching for the phone.'**

"You can 'console your friend' tomorrow."

I lowered the phone so that it was over my legs – well out of her reach – and tilted my head to send her a cheeky smile. "So, we're not going to die tonight? Why can't I go and see her if we'll be able to have some of this wonderful family time tomorrow?"

That was it. She stood up quickly and the recliner smashed into the wall behind her. She didn't flinch like Pen did, though, and pointed to the door.

She opened her mouth, but I leaped off the couch and darted from the room before I could hear what she had to say. I had gotten my cue to leave, and sprinted up the steps to grab my jacket and shoes, and sent Beth a text as quick as lightening on my way back down.

"Bye. Love you. See you tomorrow." I emphasized the last part and only received a faint reply from Pen before I was too far away to hear them.

I slipped the phone in my pocket, threw my jacket on, and slipped on my shoes at the door. I made sure to slam it harder than necessary before punching the air in victory. It was getting easier and easier to manipulate Ol' Predictable. I did a few skips to the edge of the porch and took the stairs two at a time, ready to race down the street to subtly tell Beth that she should have listened to me all along.


	2. At Least My Little Sister Is In My Dream

**That's Karma, Daph**

02 – At Least My Annoying Sister Is Here

It wasn't the sounds or smells that had woken me up, but the fucking temperature. Really? My mom finally decides to turn the thermostat down and aims for having an Ice Age in our own house? I could feel the wind on my face and debated whether to get up and close the window that she must have opened.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and shifted around so that I could curl up into a ball for some warmth, instead. Something shifted under me – that wasn't right. My bed was a solid thing, right? It shouldn't shift and click like a bed of rocks.

I suddenly jerked upright, wincing as the back of my hand dragged across, that's right, rocks and cut into my skin.

"The fuck?" I wasn't just cold, I was _soaking wet_. I couldn't stop my teeth from chattering or my entire body from shaking. My jeans clung to my legs and the jacket that I had thrown over my tank top did absolutely nothing to stop the wind.

It was December, but even a December in Seattle wasn't _this_ cold.

Through the wet hair that was clinging to my face, I could see the river at my feet, sweeping branches and leaves in what looked like a strong current just a few feet away. I pulled my feet out of the water and tried to push myself away from the river and toward the line of trees behind me.

I pushed my hair out of my face to get a better look at my surroundings, but that wasn't a good idea. The moment my face was exposed to the cold air I started shaking even harder.

It was cold, but there wasn't an inch of snow on the ground. That was weird, seeing as the entire neighborhood had just gotten nearly a half a foot of snow over the past few days, and the forecast had called for a full foot by the end of the week. Did it melt away already? And if it did, why the hell was it so cold?

My arms automatically wound around myself, but it only helped a fraction of a bit. My teeth were still chattering and the sound of the river almost drowned that out.

I was still wearing the clothes that I had slipped on before...doing what? Oh, yeah, rushing over to Beth's house to comfort her. I groaned in frustration and tried to wring some of the water out of my jeans. These were nice ones, too!

"Daphne?" The voice was faint, but I could recognize it anywhere. My head snapped in the direction of the voice. It was just a little ways upstream, but the river curved away and the trees blocked my view from her.

I forced myself to get up on shaky legs and took a few quick steps. The rocks, slippery from the water, shifted under my shoes and sent me tumbling, but the icy cold air made it impossible to feel the rocks digging into my arms and legs. I stood up again, swearing and cursing at the ground, and this time made sure to be careful where I stepped.

"Daph?" The voice called out again, but was a little quieter. I almost thought I was imagining it until I heard a whimper. It was _definitely_ her.

"Pen? I'm over here! I'm coming!" My feet found some more stable rocks a little further away from the river, and even though my legs were numb and tingling I kept up the pace. Wherever the hell I was, my annoying little sister was here too, and she was crying.

"Daph! I'm cold!" I came around the bend in the river to see a small figure sitting in the water. The wet black hair flew around Penelope's shoulders in clumps when my feet kicked some more rocks on my way to her. She was always pale, something she had gotten from our mom, but this wasn't just her pale skin that made her look almost sick. Her lips had a bluish tint. That wasn't normal, was it?

"Are you okay?" When I came closer I fell to my knees and shivered when water seeped back into my jeans and shoes. My thighs were already aching from that small exertion of energy, but I felt my heart rate finally begin to calm down when Pen leaned forward and wrapped her arms tightly around my stomach. "Pen? Are you alright?" I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and felt that she was shivering, even more so than I was.

"'M cold," she mumbled, her shoulders shaking even harder.

"Come on, you need to get out of the water." Penelope looked around and blinked her eyes owlishly, as if she was just realizing that she was sitting in a river. I stood up and grabbed her arms, hoisting her up to her feet and waiting until she seemed to find her balance.

"Are you okay? You're soaked," Penelope whispered, seeming to just notice this.

I nodded slowly and tried to keep any hint of worry out of my voice. "I'm fine, come on," I urged, grabbing her shoulders and turning her in the direction of the riverbank.

We splashed our way to the edge of the river, trying to wring some of the water out of our clothes, and carefully walked over the loose rocks to the edge of the clearing.

The tree line was thick, and I could already feel it shielding us from the wind. I pushed Pen ahead of me, watching carefully to make sure that she didn't stumble as she wrung the water out of her long hair.

"Can you call someone? 911 or something?" My left hand flew to my pocket, but the usual rectangular shape was missing. It was like missing an arm or a leg, to me, at least. It was there, I could feel it vibrating against my leg, but it was gone. I checked my other pockets and swallowed the panic that was building up. I was never without it. It was like losing a link to everyone around me. "I don't have it."

She gave me a look of disbelief that was only partly theatrical, and her lips were still quivering. "You always have it. You threw a fit last time you forgot it at home."

"Yeah, well, I don't have it now," I snapped, aware that she looked down and away. I sighed and tried to run my fingers through my wet hair. They snagged painfully and I had to take a second to untangle them before turning back to Pen. I fought the urge to make a comment on how uncomfortable, cold, irritated, and fucking _miserable_ I felt. It was difficult, but I managed to push it out of my mind long enough to think clearly for a second about our situation. "Come on." I motioned towards the trees.

"Where are we going?" she asked with a shaky voice.

"I don't know," I admitted, holding her shoulder and guiding her through a small gap in the tree line. It was significantly warmer, but Penelope continued to shake. At my insistence, we continued through the trees a little more until the sound of the river was no longer audible.

"Daphne, where are we?" Penelope finally asked when we paused to catch our breath. We had only been walking for a few minutes but the lack of feeling in my own legs made me wary of pushing either of us too hard.

"I don't know, snot. We need to keep walking to find a road."

"Fine," Penelope mumbled, stomping her feet as she continued to walk ahead of me. I didn't want to admit it, but this looked nothing like the trees in the forests that I had seen…not that I had ventured out into the forests much. But these trees were bare, with large, thick green leaves. Where were the evergreens? The pine trees? The mossy floor covered in ferns and debris?

I looked over the top of Pen's head to see that the small trail we were paving was becoming more and more difficult to get through. The trees were rooted even closer together than they were back at the riverbank, and the lower branches made it more difficult to maneuver around the large roots.

"I'm getting tired. Can we rest now, _mother_?" I ignored the light jab and glare that was sent my way when Pen turned around in a clearing that couldn't have been more than a foot wide.

I looked up, discovering that it was significantly darker than before. Or maybe it was because of the denser trees blocking out the light. It was impossible to see where the sun was, but even if I could see it my abilities at guessing the time would be just that; a wild guess.

Now would be a great time to have a phone. Even if we couldn't call someone, we would have the time.

"Okay, we can stop for a bit."

"Thanks." Penelope sighed and sat down, resting her back against one of the many roots that reached up to my mid-thigh and stretched her short legs in front of her. She began adjusting her jeans, and if they were anything like mine while they were drying they were uncomfortable.

"This doesn't look like home," she commented in such a calm tone that I was scared to answer. Would it be any use to pretend like we were close? Like we would eventually come to a road that would be easily recognizable so that we could just walk home, take a warm shower, and curl up in our beds?

I gave her a calculating look as she inspected the trees.

"What do you mean?" I asked, sitting next to her and adjusting my drying clothes as well.

"The trees are too close together."

"We may just be a little ways away." Her light eyes continued to scan the area around us, taking in the details that I'm sure were only solidifying the fact that we weren't close to home anymore. Her fingers tapped against her leg in a way that gave away her agitation, and in a way that almost hid the fact that she was still shivering. "Stop worrying, Pen. Let's switch jackets."

"Why?"

"Would you stop asking questions?" I snapped quickly. "Mine's dryer and you're colder than I am."

"How do you know how cold I am?"

"You're still shivering, snot-head. Be quiet and do as I say." I may have been a little impatient, but there was only a little grumbling and she didn't argue when she grabbed the jacket that I offered her. She slid hers off and handed it over. I had been right – it was quite a bit wetter and much colder – but I bit back any snarky remarks I wanted to make and put it on.

Penelope's eyes were still scanning what little distance we could see through the small gaps the trees created.

"So, what do we do now?" I didn't answer right away. I had no answer to give and I was getting tired. I spent a minute untangling my hair with my fingers, tying it up into a messy ponytail that would keep it from letting the hood of Penelope's jacket dry. "Daph?"

"I don't know," I groaned, letting my head fall back against the tree trunk. "We can probably stay here tonight or something and keep looking in the morning. There's got to be something close."

"What do we do about food?" The non-stop questions were getting annoying. How did mom put up with her twenty-four seven?

"I don't know, Pen. We just need to sleep right now."

"I didn't eat anything for breakfast," she commented with a pout, kicking a few of the unusually large leaves around with her feet. I was glad to see that the bluish tint had left her lips. Her head suddenly jerked up and she scanned the area around the clearing. "Do you think there are any berries around?"

"Don't you dare eat any berries," I snapped.

"Why not?" The challenging tone grated on my nerves. We had had so many arguments before, so why did this one feel like every single word was weighing on my patience?

"How do you know which ones are poisonous or not? Stop asking questions and don't eat any fucking berries." Pen crossed her arms and turned her head to the side, probably so that I wasn't in her peripheral vision. That was fine by me, I crossed my own arms and wrapped them around my shoulders.

"There aren't any poisonous berries in the Northwest." Again, her tone had taken on something so calm that my head snapped towards her. It almost didn't sound like her – Pen's voice was always so snarky when we were fighting, she rarely kept her cool.

The remark that I almost said hung in the air, but I might have well as said it. We aren't in the Northwest anymore.


	3. Yamato

**That's Karma, Daph**

03 – Yamato

God, I felt like an idiot.

Who the hell would take any of this seriously? I wanted to smack myself for being so gullible. I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself, right? People often don't realize they're in a dream until they wake up.

Of course, that was the only thing that made sense; a dream. My mind ran through the few possible scenarios for how I was sitting in a tiny clearing in the middle of the night with my little sister snoring lightly beside me.

Scenario number one: mom being right, and the world ending. This would be one shitty afterlife, so that train of thought was depressing and dismissed immediately just so that I wouldn't have to think about it (or admit that I was wrong).

Scenario number two: aliens abducted us and we're in an induced coma. More likely than my mom being right, but still not likely enough to be taken seriously.

Scenario number three: we were kidnapped by homicidal maniacs who want to set us loose in the forest only so that they could hunt us down for sport with bows and arrows. This one may have been affected by the recent marathon of Criminal Minds that I had watched, but still…. Not as depressing as the afterlife being this shitty forest, but still not very possible.

Scenario number four: this is all a dream, and all I need to do is wake up. This, of course, is the most likely situation.

So now, I just need to wake up. But how to do that….

I closed my eyes and prepared myself for what would be the hardest pinch in my life. I clenched my jaw and grabbed the skin behind my knee, making sure to use some nail so that it would work on the first try.

I opened my eyes and let my head fall back against the tree that was _still_ behind me. Nothing. I was still in this godforsaken forest in the un-fucking-godly hours of the morning. Scenario number three was starting to look a little more likely, I thought with a frustrated sigh. Wasn't the Northwest home to some of the weirdest serial killers, anyway?

My body jerked when Pen shifted restlessly beside me, and I berated myself for really thinking that an arrow was about to fly out of the shadows. Even though her hair and clothes had dried her skin was still a few shades paler than normal. Would walking more help warm us up? Or would that just use up energy?

God, I really shouldn't have made fun of Beth for joining the FFA club. Knowing some basic survival skills would really come in handy right about now.

_Look what a little stress does to me_, I thought, staring down at my shoes and realizing that I hadn't noticed that they were caked in mud. Not long ago, I would have thrown a fit over that. I looked away and now that my eyes had completely adjusted to the dark I could see a few birds hopping between the branches of the trees above us.

A little stress changed a lot, I realized, pushing the hem of Pen's jacket into my jeans. I would have rather frozen to death than tuck my _jacket_ into my _pants_. Not to mention that I wasn't even wearing my jacket. Why did we switch, again? I glanced over to see that my sister had tucked her legs into my plaid jacket. That's right, she was freezing. A few days ago, I wouldn't even think of giving Pen my jacket.

What the hell was happening in this dream? Well, whatever it was, I couldn't wait for it to be over. I wanted to take my daily shower, get some of this mud and sweat off, brush out my hair, find my phone, and get _warm_ again.

I stretched my legs out and tried to rub the numbness off my calves. It was working a bit, but I could still see my breath coming out in a fog. It was only going to get colder, wasn't it? December was cold, but January was even worse.

I pulled my legs up to my chest and hugged them, making sure to pull my hands into the sleeves of Pen's jacket and rested my head on my knees. It was a little warmer, but it wasn't nearly comfortable and couldn't compare to my bed at home. I waited for what felt like hours until I finally fell into a restless sleep.

But even that didn't last long.

"_Daphne_!" Pen's voice screamed out from somewhere that was most definitely _not_ right beside me. I jerked awake and flew to my feet, but by the time I had shaken the foggy haze from my head her voice had come and gone.

"Pen? Where are you?" I screamed, but she didn't answer. My heart raced and thudded in my ears, making it harder to tell where the breaking branches were coming from.

I heard a shriek to my left and pulled myself up and over the large root that blocked my path. Another shriek broke through the eerily quiet forest and I pushed my legs harder, yelling frantically that I was coming.

I almost ran into her when I pushed past a fern and grabbed her shoulders to turn her towards me. But even though she was facing me, she was looking ahead with wide, fearful eyes. I followed her gaze and felt like I should probably be having a heart attack with how fast my pulse was.

A man, easily a head taller than me, was standing halfway in the shadows wearing some of the weirdest clothes I had seen. But it wasn't the clothes that had shocked me. Even though he was almost completely hidden by the shadows, I could see what he was holding in his hand.

No, we weren't going to be hunted down by bow and arrow…we were going to be hunted down by _knives_.

Immediately, I jerked Pen back and behind me, backing both of us up and towards the edge of the small trail we had originally been walking on.

He opened his mouth, but I couldn't understand what he said. I could recognize the language, though, it was what Pen used when she wanted to insult me behind our mom's back.

Pen's head peaked out from around my shoulder, but she didn't reply, and I didn't prompt her for a translation. At that moment, the man took a step forward, standing in the pathway and in clearer sight. He was definitely wearing weird clothes, and something silver was framing his face. I didn't bother to look at details, because he then raised the hand holding the knife.

"Go!" I pushed Pen into the bushes and took off after her, glad that her short legs were able to carry her so quickly between the trees.

I heard a shout behind me, and nudged Pen's back, trying to get her to run just a little faster. He yelled again, something short, and whatever it was made Pen stop in her tracks.

I let out a frustrated sigh and pushed her harder. "What the fuck are you doing? Run!"

"No, wait!" she yelled, pushing me back as hard as I pushed her and stepped around me. The man leaped over a fallen log and stepped towards her, knife still in hand, so I grabbed Pen's arms and dragged her away from whatever psycho was willing to chase girls in the woods with knives.

"Pen, this isn't funny. We need to go, _now_." Instead of pushing her ahead of me, I grabbed her wrist and used whatever strength pure adrenaline gave me to drag her through the bushes. She yelled something colorful at me, but I wasn't paying attention. I wanted to put as much distance between us and that psycho as possible.

My body seemed to freeze up as I lunged forward. My shoes slipped on some mud and sent us both tumbling down the incline that lead right back to the river that we had been trekking away from. Pen let out a screech as we rolled over the short bed of rocks and into the shallow water.

"Come on, get up. We need to keep going!" I didn't bother to look behind me and pulled Pen up to her feet. She was clutching her wrist and staring back to the tree line with wide eyes.

"Would you shut up?" she asked sharply, ripping her arm out of my grip and turning her head to send me one of the more venomous glares she was able to muster.

She said something in Japanese, and whatever it was made the man _laugh_.

"God, don't be an idiot, Pen! He doesn't want to _chat_ with us."

The man said something else, and held the knife out in front of him. Then, before I could grab Pen and pull her further away, he dropped it. It fell with a dull thud onto the muddy incline and slid a few feet towards us. And he then held his hands up, palms facing us, in the universal sign of, '_I won't hurt you'._

"What is he saying?" I asked slowly, my eyes never leaving his smiling face.

"He says he won't hurt us, and asked if we need help." Suddenly, her eyes widened in recognition. "Yamato?"

What the hell was that, some kind of greeting? The man's head snapped from me to her, dark eyes suddenly suspicious. He nodded shortly, suddenly looking a little defensive of my little sister, who now had a shit eating grin.

He said something to her, and for a moment they exchanged short words, none of which I could understand. My head turned to watch each of them talk, and then I opted to study the man more closely, something that was easier to do now that a knife wasn't in his hand.

The man was definitely older than us, easily in his mid twenties. The piece of metal that framed his face was odd, though, and definitely not something I had ever seen before. There was an odd, swirling mark on the center of his forehead, and I briefly wondered what the hell that meant. He wore a green vest, with lots of pockets that almost looked like something that someone in the military would wear.

_Probably filled with more knives,_ I thought suspiciously, watching his hand carefully as it came up to scratch the back of his head in a nervous manner.

_He_ was nervous about _us_? This was definitely a dream, and a weird-ass dream as well. Maybe I had nothing to do with why he was nervous, because now my sister's shit eating grin turned even wider when she finally turned to me.

"I know where we are."


	4. My Sister Must Have Hit Her Head

**That's Karma, Daph**

04 – My Sister Must Have Hit Her Head, Because She's Not Sane

"You're an idiot." I was at least fighting the urge to slap the back of Pen's head, which was something, in my opinion. She, on the other hand, looked scandalized at my sudden outburst. She must have thought that I would willingly go along with this shitty plan. _Follow_ the man with the knives into the forest? I think not.

"Daphne, would you listen to me? He won't hurt us-"

"And why should we believe that, huh?" I shouted, watching as Penelope recoiled a little. She turned and seemed to look over this man named Yamato, who was looking more and more uncomfortable every moment that we argued.

"Daph," Pen said, turning to me with large blue eyes that pleaded with me to believe her. "I have a good feeling about this."

"Well, I have a shitty one about all of this. Who's to say that following this maniac will help us at all?"

"He wants to help us-"

"He chased us with a knife!" I motioned frantically to the knife that was still lying on the ground between us, glaring at it as if it had personally offended me before turning back to my sister. "And don't think you can bully me into this with big eyes. Mom isn't here, so someone needs to keep you from making crappy mistakes like following a _knife-wielding_ maniac through a mysterious _fucking_ forest."

Pen turned to Yamato and said something, ignoring the look that I was sending her that silently demanded she translate what she was saying. He answered, and for a moment they had a short conversation. It was irritating, not being able to understand them, but I kept myself from yelling at either of them and crossed my arms.

I tried to get some of the mud off of the jacket I was wearing, but came to the conclusion pretty quickly that it was useless. I was doomed to be covered in mud, sweat, and everything gross for the rest of this nightmare.

"Are you done?" I asked shortly when Pen turned to look at me.

"Daphne, we don't have a choice."

"We _always_ have a choice."

"How much farther are we going to walk, huh?" she suddenly shouted, motioning to the woods. It looked like her patience was finally wearing thin. "We can't eat the berries. We can't catch anything to eat. We don't know where we are and we _can't_ get any other help."

I had to take a deep breath to calm myself. I didn't want to admit it – and I wouldn't – but she was right. We were currently standing in the middle of God-knows-where, shivering and soaking wet from rolling into the river, and I _still_ didn't have my damn phone to try and call someone.

"Trust me," Pen said after a moment, her voice having calmed down significantly more than I felt. "He won't hurt us, they're the good guys."

"'The good guys?' What exactly has he told you?" I asked, giving Yamato a weary look that seemed to put him more on edge. "And why is knife-boy so nervous?"

Pen sucked in a breath and looked between us, shifting from foot to foot as if fighting an internal battle.

"I…can't really explain it," she finished lamely, looking down and adjusting her jeans. "Not now, at least."

I could only stand there for a second and try to think through the situation.

Pen did have a pretty good point. We were in the middle of nowhere, with no means of getting home, getting help, or getting food. But was blindly following a man who had chased us with a knife through the forest a better option? Pen seemed to be able to throw complete faith into this stranger, but even though I wanted to be able to have that kind of faith in people, I couldn't. Still…I didn't have to trust him to accept his help.

"Pen. If you get us killed, I will _murder_ you." Pen's face lit up before I even finished my sentence and in a split second she splashed towards me and wrapped her arms around my torso in an awkward hug.

"Thank you thank you thank you," she said in a rush. I sent Yamato a glare over the top of her head, hell-bent on making him understand that he was _not_ trusted, even if my idiot little sister seemed to.

Pen turned and splashed out of the water with me a little ways behind her. I wearily watched as Yamato offered her a hand and helped her up the muddy incline that we had rolled down, but his small, pleasant smile faltered when he turned back to offer me a hand as well. I ignored it, and clambered up the incline on my own.

I groaned when I got to the top of the hill. If I hadn't already been covered in mud from our tumble, I definitely was now. I tried to brush some of it off, but only managed to slide a few handfuls off my jeans.

"He says we need to follow him," Pen said, already walking into the forest.

I looked back at the river, the first thing I had seen after being dumped in this fucking nightmare. I sent it a glare for good measure and trekked through the forest after my sister and knife-boy, my shoes making some disgusting squishing sounds as I went.

"So, Pen, where are we, exactly?" I asked after only ten minutes of walking through the dense trees. Pen and I had some more difficulty climbing over the large tree roots and maneuvering around bushes, but Yamato seemed to be a natural at this, which irritated me even more. While we were covered in mud, branches, leaves, and God-knows-what-else, he hadn't even broken a sweat and was able to leap over the roots like they were nothing.

"Pen?"

"I'm not really sure," she answered awkwardly, and I'm sure she was adjusting her glasses in the way she does when she's lying.

"You said you knew where we are, Pen. You know, so tell me." Pen seemed to slow down a little bit, but sped back up to our original 'nearly-jogging-speed' when Yamato said something. I fell back into step behind her.

"Pen. Tell me."

"Well, it's kind of hard to explain-"

"So start explaining, snot!" There was a pause where Yamato stopped walking, probably after sensing an oncoming argument.

"I-I think we're in Naruto." Yamato's head jerked back to look at us, but he slowly turned back around and leaped over a particularly large root.

"What the hell is Naruto?" I asked, feeling a headache coming on. I probably didn't want to hear the answer.

"It's only my favorite show," Pen said, turning to look at me over her shoulder like I was an idiot.

"Oh, silly me for not being fluent in _geek_," I snapped back, only getting a little satisfaction out of the way her eyes narrowed and she spun around to face me completely.

"I'm not a geek, _freak_."

"I'm not a freak, _nerd_!" I countered, always the mature one. Pen crossed her arms and turned halfway around when Yamato said something.

It was getting more and more frustrating when she answered him.

"Speak English! Speak fucking English!" I yelled pointedly at Yamato. His eyes widened, but his expression showed that he didn't understand me. "Why doesn't he fucking speak English?" I motioned to him, but looked to Pen.

"I don't know! Maybe because Naruto was _originally written_ in Japanese!" She spun around and after shouting something at Yamato, they continued to walk along the path.

"Pen, you don't really think we're in a TV show, do you?" I asked. Maybe Pen had hit her head on a rock when we were tossed into the river. She didn't answer me, and instead grabbed the hand that Yamato offered her from where he was crouching on top of a root that almost reached her shoulder. He helped her down the other side and turned to me, lowering his opened hand.

I let out a huff and crossed my arms, glancing around for a way around the damn root instead of over it. The narrow pathway we were on was lined with thick bushes and trees, making any way around the root nearly impossible to see. I gave his hand a wary look, and bit back a remark when he said something in Japanese and motioned for me to take his hand.

"I still don't trust you, _knife-boy_," I growled, but grabbed his hand and let him pull me up and over the root.


End file.
